Do You Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway?
This was my very first performance with Ricardo, which wasn’t supposed to have happened.
It was March of 2010.
Ricardo López was coming to Portland to give workshops.
That’s all.
But then he said we should do a show.
Wait, we?
I did not belong on stage with him.
And how would we put it together in barely a week’s time?
Ricardo was insistent.
I titled the show En El Momento, which set the tone for all of our future performances, since we threw it together at the last minute, and I told him that maybe I would do it.
In the announcement I listed Ricardo as the only dancer…
I was not willing to commit.
But in the end, I agreed to join him.
And I actually began to feel excited.
I was going to dance on stage with Ricardo!
Then he told me I should do a solo.
Just something short, he said...
So this is a snippet from the (very short) piece he set for me. (I apologize for the poor quality of the video. It is old, and the lighting was not good.)
You guys, I felt SO nervous.
I had performed many times before, and I was used to feeling nervous before going on stage, but this was completely different.
This time I would be dancing in front of him.
On top of that, I couldn’t fathom learning the piece well enough to feel confident dancing all by myself in a matter of days.
The show itself was very short,
My piece, maybe three minutes long, a sevillanas together, a couple of musical numbers, and a castanets solo by Ricardo.
Though it felt like so much more than that to me.
After the show ended I was blown away when Ricardo gave me a compliment.
What?!
He actually liked something I did?
This was huge considering the first time we had a private class he completely ripped me apart.
I am not joking.
The only semi-positive thing he could say was that my hands “weren’t bad.”
(You can understand why I was anxious to perform in front of, and together with, him.)
Anyway, what he told me was that he liked the way I got into it when I was on stage. He hadn’t been expecting that.
Which is no surprise considering I’d been riddled with fear all week, a broken record telling him how afraid I was and that I couldn’t believe he was making me do this.
He also told me he liked how I had changed a part and played with the compás and created a cool rhythm. I hadn't done that on purpose. I think I just forgot what it was supposed to be or lost my balance or something. Ha!
Today
Over ten years later I still feel nervous before getting on stage.
Though nowhere near to the same degree.
And I still feel nervous when dancing in front of Ricardo.
The important thing is that I feel the fear and do it anyway.
What About You?
Can you remember a time you felt incredibly nervous but got out there and did it anyway? Let me know in the comments below.
BONUS: What palo is this?
Guitar: Mark Ferguson
Cover photo: ©Christopher Germano